I don’t know about you but being vulnerable often debilitates me. It makes me freeze in the moment of overwhelm. Sometimes I just have to sit there and take in the moment. You know like the moment you walk into a party and no one you know is there yet. Maybe you just get a drink and sit there. Frozen, looking around or maybe you feel the fear and go get lost in the crowd. Maybe it depends on how courages you are feeling that day. How vulnerable you are willing to be.
Do you wonder why people don’t have what it takes?
I get told often that most people don’t have what it takes to do some of the things I do with my kids. This statement always puzzled me. Do they mean eat the way we do? Attend the multiple therapies and look after the kids the way I need to with their high needs? Why is it that some people can go that extra mile on challenging things but others can't? Most people will sit on the fence all their life maybe knowing a little about what could possibly make their life better but never actually committing to it. What makes some able to do the things others struggle to?
These questions frequently played on my mind until I watch the Netflix documentary Brené Brown. It’s really opened my mind to why some people are willing to do what others aren’t. I believe it’s the moments when we allow our vulnerability to shine. That's why we can do what others find too hard. It’s when we show real vulnerability. One that’s not just trying to stay out of the spotlight but being our own unique courages self. Unapologetically. I think this is one reason why I, over many people, have the courage to do what I do for my kids. Most people aren’t willing to be different as that would mean being vulnerable.
There is no courage without vulnerability
Admittedly we’ve all sat on the fence at some time. However it takes courage to actually show up and dive into doing what we need to do. Whether that’s eating better, choosing to say no, actually getting up and going for that run. So many people choose and will always choose not to commit. They simply will not allow themselves to be vulnerable. They are choosing not to be seen.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable
I know how hard it is. I know it’s hard to say I can’t eat that for whatever reason. Maybe you struggle to say “I can’t help you”. Instead are always the yes person, even when you know it’s not serving you. I actually think it’s ten times harder to say no when it’s not what our true self actually wants or needs. To be the vulnerable person who shows up for what you believe in, what you want and what’s true to you! Not just do and say what’s expected. Allow yourself to actually be vulnerable and say what YOU actually want and need. Not just what you think will serve that person.
Be the person who shows up, say yes when it’s right for you not them. Skip the party, drink or cake if that’s what makes you feel good. Or have it if that’s what you're needing! Stop being just a follower to a crowd that’s suffocating your light. Have the courage to be vulnerable.
This is how you grow
You can't move forward without feeling uncomfortable. It’s how we grow. Stop worrying about the critiscim and judgement when it’s not valid. Those people aren’t being true to themselves. Really, they are just dimming their own light. Step over their nonsense and keep going. Those aren’t your people, they aren’t people who are being brave and showing up to their own lives. They are just reflecting their own vulnerability or lack of it towards you.
Choose to be courageously you, always. As Brene Brown states in her Netflix documentary which you really need to watch if you haven’t yet!
Only listen to the critics that matter
It’s time we only listen to the critics who are there to give us valid feedback even when we don’t like what they are saying. Take it on board, reflect and allow yourself to learn and grow from it. Then go out and be courageously vulnerable again with that new knowledge. It will take you to where you want to go.
Brene Brown shares Theodore Roosevelt quote in her Netflix documentary that’s really stuck to me about the critics and how to get past them. I share it here in hope that it might help you also.
Now it’s time for you to show up. Do what it takes to be you, as vulnerable as it might make you feel. Always choose the courage to do what it takes to be you!